Dating other people during separation

If you believe in the power of human choice, then you must concede that your estranged spouse may well turn from his or her estrangement and seek reconciliation. The above article comes from the book, Hope For the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed, written by Dr Gary Chapman, published by Moody Publishers.

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We are both in similar situations in terms of exiting relationships, and were looking for someone to hang out with.

I do know that this has lowered any chance there was that I will want to reconcile with my spouse, but when I left, I had no intention of getting back together with her anyway.

I know this is difficult to accept, but I believe the present trend of open dating immediately after separation must be deterred.

Such activity encourages and contributes to the increasing divorce rate. Develop friends, but refuse romantic involvement until the fate of your marriage is determined.

We know that we're both in rebound relationships, after long marriages. Oh, and I do suspect that if my wife found out I was seeing someone, our separation would turn from amicable to something considerably less than friendly. I am so new to this (or I am naive about trust and love) that I don't see the difference between separation and divorce if the intent of one party is never to go back.

The odds of us making this succeed is probably not that good, so we're just trying to enjoy the minute. So I'm telling very few people, and trying to keep things as quiet as possible. It seems like a waste of valuable time to me especially at my age of 50; "in Limbo" as others have posted. Thank you Jelly Beans and PBear ^ Who wants the separation? It may help you to know that Pbear and I have some similarities in our stories and not in others: the main difference is he was done with his marriage upon separating from his wife and wanted to end the marriage whereas my separation was very traumatic.

I had this exact conversation with a friend of mine this morning; she's one of the few people I confided to with regards to how I was feeling in my marriage in the past few years.

And she commented on how miserable I was in that time, and how now I've got my smile back, the sparkle in my eye, etc. Part of that is getting out of a bad marriage, and part of it is the way my partner/lover/whatever makes me feel. We're both trying to be realistic about our situations. I thought the reason for separation was to see if there a chance to reconcile, otherwise, why do it, why not just divorce straight away?

“If you are not free to marry, you are not free to date!

When you start dating someone else while you are separated, you make reconciliation more difficult. Unfortunately there are those of the opposite sex who would like to take advantage of your vulnerability.

I am just curious; I don't have opinion either way so I would welcome some free advice. Unless you're hoping to reconcile, the only thing I see coming out of this is bad things.

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